eric . coffee . taiwan

NEW REVIEW:Sweet Home Cafe (甜心屋咖啡烘培館) - trekking over to the suburbs of New Taipei City (新莊區) to a quaint, neighborhood coffee shop. If you’re looking for a local roastery to buy coffee beans in that area, this might be the place! For full review: www.taiwanlovescoffee.com

#taiwan #newtaipeicity #cafe #coffee #coffeehouse #coffeeshop #coffee_inst #coffeesesh #coffeeroasting #roastery #vsco #vscocam #vsco_hub #

NEW REVIEW:Sweet Home Cafe (甜心屋咖啡烘培館) - trekking over to the suburbs of New Taipei City (新莊區) to a quaint, neighborhood coffee shop. If you’re looking for a local roastery to buy coffee beans in that area, this might be the place! For full review: www.taiwanlovescoffee.com

#taiwan #newtaipeicity #cafe #coffee #coffeehouse #coffeeshop #coffee_inst #coffeesesh #coffeeroasting #roastery #vsco #vscocam #vsco_hub #

Something I’ve recently realized about myself recently is that I favor overall social peace over my actual individual circumstances. And this is something that is a bit troubling for me.

One clear example where I’ve very clearly seen this happen in my life is something as simple as a haircut. I recently got a drastically different haircut than I usually have; my original intention was to get a cut that would allow me to style a pompadour. Turns out it didn’t go as I planned - maybe the stylist wasn’t that great, maybe my hair wasn’t long enough, maybe I wasn’t using the hair products properly - whatever it may be, the end result didn’t turn out as planned.

My father has recently been living with me because I’ve also been recovering from a knee surgery and he’s been helping me get around. While I’m very grateful for what can only be described as unconditional, parental care and love in a time where I’m kind of helpless, living with my dad always brings out a side of my personality that I don’t like. 

As I predicted, my dad did not like this new haircut because it wasn’t “professional” or “formal” enough. He felt like I looked like a gangster and we got into an argument over my haircut. Now in a situation like this, from a moral and ethical standpoint, I don’t feel like I’ve done anything wrong. This is my hair, I’m an adult, I’m financially independent, I get to have 100% say in the way I want to style my hair. From my dad’s perspective, he’s my father and in fulfilling that role, he needs to give me guidance and advice to help me succeed in this world. So we both think our actions are valid and generally good. And yet, because of the argument, we stopped talking to each other.

What troubles me is the way I’ve reacted to this. I was so distraught about having been in an argument with my dad and causing conflict between us that I couldn’t sleep. I knew that the only way to improve my mood was to resolve the conflict and regain peace with my dad, which also meant that I needed to apologize (for something that I don’t really feel needs an apology) and get my hair “fixed”. And so I did that - apologized and got another haircut. Now, my dad and I are on good terms again, I’m in a good mood again, and I’ve gotten my wild, styled hair chopped off. BUT, the second haircut I got turned out even worse than the first, and yet, I’m totally fine with it. I’m completely unphased by my current ugly haircut, even though I was very much disrupted by my argument with my dad. 

Maybe this is a good thing - that I don’t get all caught up in something as petty as a haircut and I value my relationship with my dad more, that I’m willing to sacrifice my hairstyle for a peaceful relationship with my dad. That’s one way to look at it. But the troubling part is that I was the one who had to give in for no reason other than appeasing my dad. If I didn’t give in and apologize, we would probably be still ignoring each other. A situation where I could see this going badly is when it comes to something that is more important than my hair, something like being gay. While I haven’t come out to my parents yet, I imagine that when I do, my dad will be very emotional, dramatic, disappointed, depressed, and distraught. In a situation like that, will I react the same way as with this haircut? Will I also be willing to sacrifice or trade what I personally want in order to regain a peaceful relationship in the family? I don’t know. But this is something I’m noticing more and more about myself and it’s troubling.